Twin Storms - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The End of Love

“You should go out, meet someone. It might help,” my friend suggested over a phone call one Saturday afternoon. The advice was well-meaning, a nudge to help me move forward, but it only deepened my inner conflict.

I forced a smile. “I don’t know, it just feels wrong,” I said, trying to change the topic.

I went on dates and met a few people. The truth was, even though the relationship was over, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was somehow cheating, that I was crossing an invisible line. It didn’t make sense. There was no longer a commitment, no connection that bound us. Yet even the idea of seeing someone new felt like a betrayal.

I wasn’t ready to open myself up to new possibilities. I needed time not just to heal, but to let every lingering emotion from the past relationship fade so I could move on without the shadow of guilt.

We met at one of those continuing education courses at Temple. The class was small, just eight students so it was easy to notice each other right away. What drew us together, I think, was our shared passion for language and teaching. Our conversations flowed easily, and before long, what began as casual chats between discussions turned into longer talks over coffee.

We made it official after two months of getting to know each other. There was comfort in being together, a sense of ease that made the relationship feel like it had always been there. We introduced each other to our friends. We talked about the future, always reminding each other to be honest and to keep growing.

Ours was a long-distance relationship. I wasn’t new to this setup, so I was careful and guarded. We met twice a month, sometimes more if we were lucky. We explored new places, shared work stories, drove around town, and playfully fought over who would pay for our meals. It wasn’t perfect, but we found a rhythm that worked for us, and for two years, it felt like we had beaten the odds.

A few months after our anniversary, I found out about the cheating. The connection that had felt so solid suddenly seemed fragile. It was as if the ground had been ripped out from under me. Still, I chose to forgive. I wanted to believe that what we had was worth saving, that we could work through it and come out stronger on the other side.

Things did improve after that. We talked more openly, addressing the issues that had led to the betrayal. We took long trips and planned to travel to Singapore and Canada. For a while, it felt like we had managed to mend what was broken. I allowed myself to hope again, to believe that we had overcome the worst of it, or so I thought.

But then, out of nowhere, everything changed. It started with a missed call, then another. “Busy week, probably,” I thought. But as the days turned into weeks, the silence became impossible to ignore. My texts went unanswered, and my calls rang without reply. A rising sense of panic mixed with disbelief. “How could things go from so good to nothing at all?”

I was ghosted. There’s no other way to put it. One day, we were fine, and the next, it was as if I didn’t exist. The most constant person in my life, whom I had forgiven and fought to stay with, was suddenly gone. No explanation, no goodbye, just silence.

I waited for a long time, but the closure I so desperately needed never came. I was left to wrestle with unanswered questions. The pain was unlike anything else, not just heartbreak, but the betrayal of everything we had rebuilt.

I couldn’t believe this was happening again. I had already experienced the same disappearance, the same unanswered calls and texts. And here I was once more, abandoned without explanation, left to pick up the pieces on my own. What were the odds that I would be ghosted twice? It felt as if there was an invisible message written on my forehead: “Ghost me, please.”

That thought stayed with me, making me question not only the relationships but myself. Why did this keep happening? Was it something I did, or just a cruel twist of fate? The pain of being left without closure, not once but twice, was overwhelming, burying me under emotions I could hardly name.

The end of love did not come with a confrontation. It was neither sudden nor the result of a slow unraveling. It came with a void, a silence that left me questioning everything. This was the beginning of a painful journey, one that would take me through heartbreak once again and eventually into a new kind of loss.

Twin Storms

PREFACE

Life is filled with highs and lows, joy and deep sorrow. But nothing prepares us for the unexpected. This book is a reflection on my experience of dealing with the heartbreak of a relationship ending and the loss of someone beloved.

These two events, though different, left marks that greatly affected my sense of self.

Writing this book became a way to process the feelings that overwhelmed me. It is not a guidebook with clear steps to healing but rather a narrative of my journey. I was not depressed, nor was I in the dark. I was in a position where I was on guard with my emotions and unsure of how to move forward. 

I share these experiences in hopes that others in similar situations might find the strength to face their emotions head-on and learn to live with them. 

This book is divided into twelve chapters, each reflecting a stage of the journey, beginning with shock and confusion, moving through grief and reflection, and gradually finding a way toward healing and acceptance. It is a story of pain and the subtle strength from learning to live with loss. 

 

Change of heart

What do you do when you walk into a classroom and see two students physically hitting one, and the others seemingly amused at the sight?

I have witnessed instances of bullying so many times that stepping in to stop them has become a ritual for me. 

Surprisingly, not everyone would agree with what I believe. I asked another foreign teacher how he would react in such a situation, and his answer wasn’t what I expected. “Ignore and leave.” His response disgusted me. He probably had reasons, and I respect that. But how could someone tolerate cruelty? I know these are kids and they could be just goofing around. Moreover, there might not be any malevolent intent. But I also know bullying when I see it.

Another, however, said that she would let their teacher know what happened, and advise the bullied student to stay strong and endure. Suddenly, I started to have second thoughts.

Then I began to see things in a new light after I came across an article written by an experienced educator. It made me get wise to the fact that institutions have their own stance. What really spoke to me in that article is that there are ways to confront bullying, however, I don’t always have the privilege to act according to how I see fit.

Liam Carrigan said in his article “How to Deal with Bullying in Japanese Schools”: “Remember, you are not Superman, you cannot save everyone.” Those words rang true. As much as I want to prevent harm from happening to those under my watch, I am no superhero. What can a lowly foreign teacher do? Perhaps not much. But I can still do what I can. It may not move mountains but at least I won’t stop trying.